RS: What was the first record you ever bought? Boys Suck: Well, if the question is intended to loosely mean the first record that involved some sort of pecuniary exchange or barter, then the answer is simpler. When I was in 4th grade, I had a roller skating birthday party. The birthday child got to choose a song that when played, all of the child's sheep-like automaton friends would gather in the back room for cake. My Pavlovian cake-drool inducer was "I Feel For You" by Chaka Khan. This actually has nothing to do with the record, but I am getting to that. At the end of the party, in gratitude for my parents paying some substantial sum of money to the skating rink, I received a gift certificate for the record of my choice from the nearby music shop. I chose New Edition. I listened to "Cool it Now" over and over and over again. I was especially fond of the part that went, "Ronnie, Bobby, Ricky, and Mike; If I like a girl, who cares who you like?" So, in actuality, I didn't purchase that record. I don't recall ever really purchasing a record except way later in the cutout bin. However, I did also win the soundtrack to Labyrinth on Nick Rocks! RS: Who is the greatest singer-songwriter of all time? Boys Suck: You cannot be the greatest singer-songwriter of all time without having been influenced by the greatest singer-songwriter of all time. Therefore, until time travel has been perfected and someone can be influenced by themselves a la Chuck Berry (Zemeckis, 1985). RS: How would you answer the claim that post-police, Sting sucks? Boys Suck: Why do I need to answer the claim? What do I look like some sort of Sting attacker/defender. I don't really enjoy listening to the Police, though they are growing on me...and I don't enjoy listening to Sting, though he is also growing on me. Eva Cassidy actually renewed my interest in Sting. Eva C. and David Lynch. Plus, when I used to watch MTV (read: stupid days), they constantly played that video with the rocking boat until the song got stuck in my head. RS: What's in your iPod? Boys Suck: I assume you mean someone else's iPod since I don't have one. Still, I'd guess it has a Motorola processor, some RAM, a hard disk, a bus of some sort, some kind of cache, and at least one dust mite. RS: When was the last time you went to Virgin? And what did you buy? Boys Suck: I've only been in Virgin once. I had to meet my friend Yan inside. It scared me a lot to be in there and I had to leave as quickly as I could. I made no purchases there. I suspect that next time there is a Droplift (see http://www.droplift.org - think ninjAs), I will be involved in droplifting music into the local Virgin Megawhore. RS: If you could put together a dream concert, who'd be on the bill? Boys Suck: So, if it were a dream concert, I would want it to be all fucked up and crazy like my other dreams. The other night I dreamt I was Batman...the '60s one, not the '90s one. Anyway, I had to prevent The Riddler from blowing up Gotham by solving complex DSP filter problems quickly on my portable computer. Check out this other dream I had...I woke up in the middle of the night and typed this out exactly as it is: a woman was being burned at the stake for being immoral. No one was going to stop it. I kept trying to shake the structure to make it stop, but someone (female) I was with kept telling me to stop because it would be interesting to see her burned even though we knew it was terrible. She escaped for a second and flashed her breast. Her body was painted black and she had a white dress on, but her nipple area had been left unpainted. A whole group of people grabbed her and tied her up and put her back to be burned they lit the fire and then everyone started taking their clothes off. I sat there confused trying to figure out a way to save her. Then, it turned out the whole thing was a psychology experiment to see if any of us would try to stop it and I was the only one who tried, but she wasn't really being burned. Therefore, my dream concert would probably be me playing, but I'd really be the Spice Girls or something. RS: Sure. Who should open for you? Boys Suck: The Spice Girls. That would be even more messed up. The Spice Girls could open for The Spice Girls, but the second act would really be me as The Spice Girls. I'd even play Boys Suck songs. It would probably make it onto Behind the Music. RS: What's your favorite Behind the Music? Boys Suck: I don't think I have ever seen it. I get it mixed up with Rockumentary. My favorite part of all of those stupid things is when they cut to commercial and say, "Coming up next, we see the wild rock 'n' roll life of drugs, women, and booze take its toll...leading to a tragic conclusion." That part totally makes me dance. RS: What songs make you dance? Boys Suck: Anything by Devo, especially "Chango" and "Buttered Beauties." I come up the river like a meatman. I come up the river like skunk men fly. I come up the river to kill many people. I come up the river with my laser gun. RS: Who's the hottest female rocker? Boys Suck: It's a tie between Leesa and Sophia of Counterfolk (http://www.counterfolk.com). Those chicks are totally hot! I hope I can find them in time. RS: Your still too late. Boys Suck: Damn. RS: What's the best lyric of all time? Boys Suck: "Ronnie, Bobby, Ricky, and Mike; If I like a girl, who cares who you like?" RS: You think? Boys Suck: I think Ronnie and Bobby represent the good in the world; Ricky and Mike, the evil. What the protagonist of this lyrical tidbit is trying to put forth is that regardless of the forces that be in this crazy world, lust for a girl is something that cannot be influenced by deities or deity-like beings. It cannot be controlled by weather patterns, hunger pangs, or even medication. It's not the place of good and evil to interfere with the natural desire for procreation with a fertile being of the opposite gender...especially if it's a "hot bitch" as a friend of mine might say. |
BOYS SUCKinterview |
RS: What was the first record you ever bought? Boys Suck: Well, if the question is intended to loosely mean the first record that involved some sort of pecuniary exchange or barter, then the answer is simpler. When I was in 4th grade, I had a roller skating birthday party. The birthday child got to choose a song that when played, all of the child's sheep-like automaton friends would gather in the back room for cake. My Pavlovian cake-drool inducer was "I Feel For You" by Chaka Khan. This actually has nothing to do with the record, but I am getting to that. At the end of the party, in gratitude for my parents paying some substantial sum of money to the skating rink, I received a gift certificate for the record of my choice from the nearby music shop. I chose New Edition. I listened to "Cool it Now" over and over and over again. I was especially fond of the part that went, "Ronnie, Bobby, Ricky, and Mike; If I like a girl, who cares who you like?" So, in actuality, I didn't purchase that record. I don't recall ever really purchasing a record except way later in the cutout bin. However, I did also win the soundtrack to Labyrinth on Nick Rocks! RS: Who is the greatest singer-songwriter of all time? Boys Suck: You cannot be the greatest singer-songwriter of all time without having been influenced by the greatest singer-songwriter of all time. Therefore, until time travel has been perfected and someone can be influenced by themselves a la Chuck Berry (Zemeckis, 1985). RS: How would you answer the claim that post-police, Sting sucks? Boys Suck: Why do I need to answer the claim? What do I look like some sort of Sting attacker/defender. I don't really enjoy listening to the Police, though they are growing on me...and I don't enjoy listening to Sting, though he is also growing on me. Eva Cassidy actually renewed my interest in Sting. Eva C. and David Lynch. Plus, when I used to watch MTV (read: stupid days), they constantly played that video with the rocking boat until the song got stuck in my head. RS: What's in your iPod? Boys Suck: I assume you mean someone else's iPod since I don't have one. Still, I'd guess it has a Motorola processor, some RAM, a hard disk, a bus of some sort, some kind of cache, and at least one dust mite. RS: When was the last time you went to Virgin? And what did you buy? Boys Suck: I've only been in Virgin once. I had to meet my friend Yan inside. It scared me a lot to be in there and I had to leave as quickly as I could. I made no purchases there. I suspect that next time there is a Droplift (see http://www.droplift.org - think ninjAs), I will be involved in droplifting music into the local Virgin Megawhore. RS: If you could put together a dream concert, who'd be on the bill? Boys Suck: So, if it were a dream concert, I would want it to be all fucked up and crazy like my other dreams. The other night I dreamt I was Batman...the '60s one, not the '90s one. Anyway, I had to prevent The Riddler from blowing up Gotham by solving complex DSP filter problems quickly on my portable computer. Check out this other dream I had...I woke up in the middle of the night and typed this out exactly as it is: a woman was being burned at the stake for being immoral. No one was going to stop it. I kept trying to shake the structure to make it stop, but someone (female) I was with kept telling me to stop because it would be interesting to see her burned even though we knew it was terrible. She escaped for a second and flashed her breast. Her body was painted black and she had a white dress on, but her nipple area had been left unpainted. A whole group of people grabbed her and tied her up and put her back to be burned they lit the fire and then everyone started taking their clothes off. I sat there confused trying to figure out a way to save her. Then, it turned out the whole thing was a psychology experiment to see if any of us would try to stop it and I was the only one who tried, but she wasn't really being burned. Therefore, my dream concert would probably be me playing, but I'd really be the Spice Girls or something. RS: Sure. Who should open for you? Boys Suck: The Spice Girls. That would be even more messed up. The Spice Girls could open for The Spice Girls, but the second act would really be me as The Spice Girls. I'd even play Boys Suck songs. It would probably make it onto Behind the Music. RS: What's your favorite Behind the Music? Boys Suck: I don't think I have ever seen it. I get it mixed up with Rockumentary. My favorite part of all of those stupid things is when they cut to commercial and say, "Coming up next, we see the wild rock 'n' roll life of drugs, women, and booze take its toll...leading to a tragic conclusion." That part totally makes me dance. RS: What songs make you dance? Boys Suck: Anything by Devo, especially "Chango" and "Buttered Beauties." I come up the river like a meatman. I come up the river like skunk men fly. I come up the river to kill many people. I come up the river with my laser gun. RS: Who's the hottest female rocker? Boys Suck: It's a tie between Leesa and Sophia of Counterfolk (http://www.counterfolk.com). Those chicks are totally hot! I hope I can find them in time. RS: Your still too late. Boys Suck: Damn. RS: What's the best lyric of all time? Boys Suck: "Ronnie, Bobby, Ricky, and Mike; If I like a girl, who cares who you like?" RS: You think? Boys Suck: I think Ronnie and Bobby represent the good in the world; Ricky and Mike, the evil. What the protagonist of this lyrical tidbit is trying to put forth is that regardless of the forces that be in this crazy world, lust for a girl is something that cannot be influenced by deities or deity-like beings. It cannot be controlled by weather patterns, hunger pangs, or even medication. It's not the place of good and evil to interfere with the natural desire for procreation with a fertile being of the opposite gender...especially if it's a "hot bitch" as a friend of mine might say. |
Antifolk Online's |
The following EXACT same questions appeared in R.S. issue 919 and were asked to John Mayer. Antifolk Online gave them to Boys Suck with the instructions to answer them however he would choose to. And to have fun with em. Here are the responses: |
March 19th 2003: |
With Boys Suck |
